


A Candlenights Carol

by Readerofmuch



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: A Christmas Carol, Bad Jokes, Because it's not Christmas without an AU, Gen, I'm in two exchanges but no this needed to happen too, Merry Christmas, Past trauma around religion, christmas cuteness, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:38:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readerofmuch/pseuds/Readerofmuch
Summary: Candlenights was a time of light and laughter, wasn't it? Sometimes though, everyone needs a reminder. Or, an Adventure Zone take on the holiday classic.





	1. The First Stave

It was Candlenights and everything was supposed to be happy. Taako was baking unusually salty treats and Magnus barely left his pocket workshop. Angus kept running around spouting Candlenights facts and traditions at everyone. Even the Director had been seen smiling. The entire moon was one big, happy party. No one even noticed Merle’s mysterious absence. After all, what was one dwarf? 

 

Merle knew he should celebrate. Pan had a few big festivals that got lumped in and back home on the beach, there would be parties all month to honour him and get boozed up. But he wasn't on the beach anymore. A knock on the door drew him from his sulking. He stood up to answer. It was Killian, Carey and Angus, all beaming at him. They started singing loudly and off-key. Merle sighed.

 

“We wish you a merry-”

 

“Look guys, do you need something?” he interrupted. 

 

“We're carolling sir,” piped up Angus. “It's been an integral Candlenights tradition for close to 300 years!”

 

“Uh huh,” said Merle, his hand already on the door. 

 

“Besides that,” said Carey hastily, “we're having a buffet tomorrow, a Candlenights dinner!”

 

“Your seafood is legendary,” Killian continued, “and we were wondering if you'd be interested?”

 

“I'm really not,” said Merle. 

 

“Do you want to make something else sir?” inquired Angus. 

 

“I want to be left alone,” said Merle, closing the door. 

 

Magnus popped his head out of the pocket workshop. 

 

“Was that Carey? I have something for her.” 

 

“It's Candlenights,” grumbled Merle, “you have something for everyone.”

 

Magnus wrinkled his eyebrows.

 

“Are you okay Merle?”

 

Merle waved him off with his wooden arm. 

 

“Fine, I'm fine.”

 

“If you say so. I'm just so excited for Candlenights!”

 

Merle snorted.

 

“Something wrong? Usually you love this time of year.”

 

“Oh, do I?” asked Merle, “do I really?”

 

Concern filled Magnus’s eyes. 

 

“Yeah, I just love all the sparkles and the carolling and the concern for your fellow beings that somehow only matters at Candlenights! Oh, and the unicorn dick. Can't forget that,” seethed Merle. 

 

Magnus blinked at him, but Merle gave him no further acknowledgement. He resisted the urge to slam the door to his room after he stormed off. That would have been petty. He sat on his bed with a huff and nearly had a heart attack when the elf standing in the corner cleared his throat. 

 

“How in Pan’s name-” 

 

“I'm a fucking wizard,” said Taako irritably. “Just listen. You know this path you're going down? I've been there and trust me, you don't like what happens next.” 

 

“Are you gonna come teach me a lesson about the true meaning of Candlenights?” Merle gasped dramatically. “Will there be glowing wildlife?” 

 

Taako visibly darkened. He looked at Merle from under his wide hat. 

 

“This isolation you're creating for yourself? These chains you're forging, link by link? They don't just go away. I've been where you are, Merle, and it doesn't end well.” 

 

Merle raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Is there a problem?” asked Taako. 

 

“I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time that you, Mister spent-the-last-week-baking-salted-macarons, have ever been where I am.”

 

Taako smiled. It was a wide, knowing smile and Merle shuddered despite himself. 

 

“You will be visited tonight by three spirits. Expect the first when the clock strikes midnight. Ask not for whom the bell tolls and all that shit. Hopefully, you can make the right choice.” 

 

Merle snorted. Taako winked at him and Blinked away. 

 

In the living room, Magnus was sitting on the couch with Steven on his lap. He looked like a kicked puppy. 

 

“Don't worry Mags, he'll be fine by tomorrow. Did you get the seafood I asked for?”

 

Magnus nodded. 

 

“I still don't see why you need so much though. You don't even like seafood!” 

 

Taako shrugged. 

 

“All will be revealed in time, my guy. All will be revealed.”


	2. The Second Stave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle finds himself on a trip down memory lane.

After Taako left, Merle found himself inexplicably exhausted. It was still early in the evening, but he couldn't keep his eyes open. He didn't have a chance to change or even unstrap his arm before he crashed into bed and fell asleep. 

 

When the bell tower halfway across the moon struck midnight, Merle found himself unfortunately awake. He rolled over, but the room was full of bright light. Finally, he opened his eyes. 

 

“Ugh, Angus, what's with the lights?”

 

The small figure standing at the other end of the room looked serene and peaceful. At first glance, the light that flooded the room had no discernible source. Merle blinked. On second glance, the light seemed to be coming from the Boy Detective. His thick, dark hair and fawn coloured skin were glowing with a supernatural light. 

 

“Angus? Buddy? You know Taako is the one to talk to about magic. Shit, I'm barely a cleric.”

 

Angus shook his head. 

 

“Oh no sir, I'm not Angus. Although I do think Taako is neat! I'm the ghost of Candlenights Past.”

 

“Uh-huh. What, did Taako cast some glow spell on you to get me to change my ways?”

 

In response, the ghost who was not Angus stepped forward. He crossed the bedroom in a single step. This close, his light was blinding. Merle winced and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was no longer in his room. He was floating high above a familiar beach. He blanched and started clutching desperately at the ghost. 

 

“Don't worry sir! Just hold my hand and you’re not in any danger.”

 

“I think I'd rather fall,” grumbled Merle. 

 

Wordlessly, the ghost stepped away. The resulting plummet was both terrifying and predictable. After a few seconds of freefall, the ghost caught him by the hand. 

 

“Okay! Okay! You’re right! I'll hold your hand, just please don't drop me!”

 

The ghost smiled smugly as they drifted down to the brightly lit beach town. 

 

“Oh hey, there the town square! And the monument to Pan!”

 

The ghost nodded. 

 

“Exactly as you remember, right sir? I'm the ghost of Christmas past after all. The people here can't see or hear you. Nothing you can do will change what has already been.”

 

As he finished speaking, they drifted down even closer. The little cottage in front of them wasn't big, but it was full of light and laughter. There were floating balls of light outside, lighting the beach. A few adult dwarves sat in rough hewn wooden chairs, drinking and making merry. Naked dwarven children jumped in and out of the waves. 

 

“Is that-”

 

“You and Hecuba? Yes.”

 

“Before the marriage, before the pressure,” realized Merle. He watched as he and Hecuba splashed and played together. 

 

“Okay, spirit. I used to be better, less of an asshole. So?”

 

In response, the scene shifted. It was the same cottage, many years later. The ghost tugged Merle forward, through the walls. He saw Hecuba again, an adult this time. A younger version of himself sat on the floor, holding Mavis in his lap while baby Mookie chewed on a toy cart. He was telling them the story of Pan’s great festival and he looked happy. Hecuba stirred a pot in the kitchen and looked over occasionally, smiling fondly. 

 

“Do you remember this?” asked spirit-Angus gently. “Your first Candlenights as a family.” 

 

“I-yeah, of course I do. We were so happy.”

 

Ha smiled despite himself. 

 

“Mavis wouldn't leave me alone. Always one more story. Oh, and Mookie almost ate the entire pot of chowder! The little tyke just wouldn't stop eating.”

 

He smiled. The spirit didn't say anything. Merle glanced over, only for the scene to shift again. The little cottage was much darker now. The festive adornments were gone and so was Merle. Hecuba looked worn and tired. She sat on a chair in the living room. From behind a closed door, he could hear Mookie snoring like a chainsaw and Mavis whimpering in her sleep. 

 

“Oh Merle,” said Hecuba to the empty room, “Merle, where'd you go?I know we didn't always get along, but it's Candlenights. You couldn't even call?” 

 

She took a drink from a cup she’d been nursing. It smelled pungent. Merle looked away. 

 

“Spirit, take me away from here.” 

 

There was no reply. 

 

“Spirit-Angus, ghost of Candlenights past, whoever the hell you are, take me away from here!”

 

Still nothing. Merle looked around. He was alone. As he continued to watch the scene, the door to the bedroom creaked open. 

 

“Mom?” asked a thin voice, “Did he come back?”

 

Mavis stepped out of the bedroom, wearing a pale night gown. She looked around the empty room. There was no one there except the two of them. Tears started to trickle down her pale cheeks. Merle found them mirrored on his own face. Hecuba hugged her daughter, pulling Mavis into her lap. 

 

“Oh honey, my angelfish. It's okay. It's okay.”

 

“I'm here!” he cried desperately, “I'm here!” 

 

But of course, they didn't reply. He sunk to his knees and closed his eyes. 

 

“Expect the next when the clock strikes one,” a familiar voice whispered into his ear. He opened his eyes to find himself hopelessly tangled in his blanket. Outside his window, the clock tolled once


	3. The Third Stave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle neither stabs a macaroon nor meets its ghost.

Merle untangled himself from his sheets by unclipping his arm and wiggling. When he finally thumped onto the floor, there was light streaming out from under the door. Half-awake, he reattached his arm and opened the door. At first, the sudden light blinded him. When his eyes cleared, the scene didn't make much more sense. 

The central living area of the reclaimer’s suite was decorated for Candlenights. Earlier in the evening there had been a few, more subtle decorations. Magnus had cut out paper snowflakes and paper dolls. Taako had a few strings of popcorn and fantasy cranberries string around the edges. The shrine to Pan in the corner had been full of red flowers and lights. But now the whole room was bathed in light and wreathed in candles. The paper snowflakes spun in a cloud around a ceiling that was much higher than it had been the afternoon. The dolls swayed and danced.

The snowflakes started swirling down towards Merle. As they landed, a figure was gently deposited on the floor. 

“Magnus?” asked Merle incredulously, “what did you do to this place?”

“Wow,” said the man, “you really aren't getting this.” He paused, allowing Merle to hear Magnus snoring like a fantasy chainsaw. 

“So you’re….” 

“The ghost of Candlenights present!”

“What, did someone stab a macaron?”

The ghost looked at Merle in a way that made it abundant how little he thought of Merle’s intelligence. He took Merle by his shoulder (ghost or no ghost, Magnus was still close to seven feet tall) and transported him to the courtyard. The clock struck nine and Merle raised an eyebrow. 

“I thought you were the ghost of Candlenights present,” he said. 

The ghost shrugged. 

“I'm the ghost of the Candlenights that are currently happening,to be a bit clearer,” he explained. “Now pay attention.” 

The festival was tomorrow, so the tents were all up but the moon base was quiet. One door across the quad was open, letting light out into the night. The ghost gestured him forward and the two of them stepped in. The room was cozy with a handful of couches and pillows on the floor. Carey, Killian and No3113 were hosting a soirée. It wasn't a party, per say, but it was close. Taako was lounging against Magnus on the couch, with Angus draped across both of them snoring. Brad Bradson was sitting comfortably on the room’s lone chair. Carey and Killian were sprawled across the floor, limbs entangled. The whole room was drowsy and warm. 

“A toast,” said Brad, “to Merle.”

Carey snorted. Taako raised his over large wine glass. 

“I'll drink to that. To Merle, the old grouch.”

Most drinks were conspicuously left sitting down.

“Oh, c’mon guys,” said Taako, “what’d he ever do to you?”

Carey looked pointedly around the room, flicking her tail impatiently. 

“Do you see him? I didn't even get a chance to invite him tonight before he slammed the door in our faces.” 

Killian nodded.

“He was a major dick,” she agreed. 

Magnus shrugged. 

“He's a good guy, but that was a jerk move. You don't need rustic hospitality not to be an asshole.”

There was a general murmur of agreement. The room fell quiet again. Taako nestled deeper into Magnus, who shifted. 

‘I think that's my cue,” he said, “I'll get these two home. Who knows, maybe we'll see Merle.” 

“Not fuckin’ likely,” muttered Carey. 

Magnus shrugged as he hoisted Angus onto one shoulder. Taako cast levitate and he dragged the bobbing elf along behind him. 

“Happy Candlenights every one!” 

“Happy Candlenights!” enthused Brad. 

The three left and the scene faded into the darkness of stars. 

“They still love you,” said the ghost. “It's not too late.”

Merle turned away. 

“They don't care. No one cares. Their ‘perfect Candlenights’ don't include me.”

The ghost put a hand on his shoulder. Merle shook it off. When he turned to speak to the ghost again, the ghost was gone and Merle fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! Can you guess who the last ghost will be? Happy holidays friends
> 
> EDIT: I absolutely have ideas for what everyone is drinking. I only worked in Taako's though. hmu for the rest if you want to know!


	4. Chapter 4

He landed with an unpleasant thump and opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor of his room, shivering in thin pajamas. The wooden floor of his bedroom was freezing, but his blankets were all out of reach on his bed. He sat up and nearly bumped into the red robed figure standing silently in the middle of the room. He recoiled and pushed himself backwards. Belatedly, he realized he’d left his arm in bed as he leaned on an arm that wasn't there and fell sideways. The figure did not move. Finally, he collected himself.

 

“You’re a ghost, aren't you? The ghost of Candlenights future.”

 

The red robed ghost nodded slowly and beckoned him forward. Merle followed, still shivering; he couldn't tell if it was from cold or fear.

 

They stepped through the wall and found themselves in a graveyard. It was somewhere he’d never been, near a towering cliff side village. The red robe led him through the graves. They passed Julia and Magnus Burnsides (“together in the end”), with Angus McDonald beside them (“much beloved”). As they went along the graves got more abandoned and more isolated. Finally they reached an open grave. A familiar elf was standing beside it, talking to the undertaker. 

 

“Are you sure this is where you want him?”

 

Taako nodded. His ears were drooping and his hair was tipped gray. 

 

“No one else wanted him. He may as well be here, among friends. At least there'll be someone to visit him.” 

 

The undertaker nodded and the two of them walked away. 

 

“Who-who's grave is this?” 

 

The spirit raised his finger and pointed at the tombstone. Merle Highchurch. No inscription. He shook his head.

 

“No! Where's Mavis and Mookie? Where's Hecuba?”

 

The red robed figure shook his head again. He pointed again at the open grave. Merle inched towards it. The bottom stretched into a gaping black pit. He faced the ghost again. 

 

“Who- no, what are you?”

 

In response, the ghost raised his hands to his hood. He flipped it up to reveal a familiar elven face. 

 

“Taako? It can't be!”

 

Merle started to back away from the ghost, heedless of the grave behind him until the ground started to crumble. He teetered, reaching forward towards the ghost. His hands passed through the ethereal red robes and he tumbled down into the darkness of the void. The sides of the grave stretched out of reach and it seemed like he would be doomed to spend a cold, dark infinity falling without ever reaching the ground. 

 

When Merle finally stopped falling he was back in bed. His arm was on the nightstand where it was supposed to be. The blankets on his bed were just the way he liked them and morning light streamed through the window. He sat up, barely pausing to grab his arm before running out into the living room. 

 

“Morning Merle. What’s up?” asked Taako, poking his head out of the kitchen. 

 

“Taako! What day is it?” 

 

“The first day of Candlenights? Why, what's up?” 

 

“Oh good! It's not too late.” 

 

He raced towards the door. Magnus caught him by the arm. 

 

“Woah Merle! Where are you headed?”

 

“I need to go talk to Carey! The buffet, and I was a dick and-shit, I gotta call the kids!”

 

“Merle, it's fine,” laughed Magnus, “you’ve still got plenty of time.” 

 

“Also, might want to get dressed,” said Taako. 

 

Merle glanced down at his threadbare, vine patterned pyjama bottoms and unkempt beard. A few minutes later, he was dressed with the the extreme teen bible in his leather satchel. Magnus gave him a bear hug that enveloped his whole body and lifted him a good two feet higher than his usual elevation. 

 

“Happy Candlenights!” 

 

Merle smiled back at Magnus and nearly slammed Angus with the door.

 

“Angus! Are you okay?” Merle moved forward to make sure he was fine. Angus stepped back. 

 

“Sir, please don't slam the door again! Taako said I should come here!”

 

Merle’s smile widened. 

 

“You little tyke! I wouldn't hurt ya!”

 

He pulled Angus into a hug. At first, the boy was tense but after a second he relaxed into the embrace. 

 

“Th-thank you sir! Are you alright?”

 

“I'm fine, Angus,” Merle assured him. “You wanna walk with me? I owe Carey an apology.” 

 

“Of course sir!” chimed Angus. He looked back into the room and waved. 

 

“And a merry Candlenights, everyone!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done! Confession: I finished this a few days ago, but I've also worked over 20 hours in the past three days so I think I'm okay honestly. Here you go!


End file.
